Amy has always been popular – boys are crazy about her. She’s generous, laughs easily and always seems to know how to make the most of the moment. She likes it best when she’s surrounded by her friends. Very active in clubs. Loves to volunteer.

School has always been a struggle for Amy from the time she started first grade. That’s because of her dyslexia. Like many dyslexics, she has above average intelligence, but part of her brain jumbles letters and numbers on a page, making both reading and writing difficult. Lucky for her, our first grade teacher identified Amy’s problem and teamed her up with me. We have been buddies ever since as I’ve helped Amy with academic stuff and she’s brightened my days with some fun and a special place in her social life. Over the years our friendship has deepened and, until now, we’ve been inseparable.

Once she had been accepted into Berkeley and learned that I might not be joining her, Amy grew more and more worried that she would not be able to do the work at Berkeley. We had always planned to go to college together but for some inexplicable reason Berkeley accepted Amy and postponed consideration of my application.

Amy and I even thought of not going to university. We considered nursing but we didn’t like all the medical jargon you have to learn. Why would you need to know all that gibberish to be able to help people? Even in nursing, we felt there was too much emphasis on academic skills and not enough on simple, genuine caring. Amy sometimes joked that she would join a religious order and become a nun. Of course, no one took that very seriously because her religious tradition doesn’t even have nuns. Besides, it’s been crystal clear for a long time that Amy was destined to be the mom of a family with several kids. Not right away, of course. But it’s definitely on her agenda.

Amy is not an angel in everything. Money is often an issue. She doesn’t care about money or things – only people. In fact, if it was up to her she would give all her things away to people she felt were more needy than she was. So she’s chronically broke. When someone has to pay her back for shared expenses, she’ll totally forget that anyone owes her money - it’s just not important to her. She also dates too much, stays out too late at night and takes chances.

Amy’s easy-going lifestyle changed dramatically last March. A bad snowstorm was raging in Holland, Michigan. Amy was home and her parents were gone to a meeting. The phone rang and a State trooper informed her that something terrible had happened – her Mom and Dad had been involved in a head-on collision. Her Dad was killed instantly. Her Mom suffered severe head injuries with massive bleeding in her brain. She’s still in a coma. Because her Mom is such a fighter, the doctors say there’s still a small chance that her brain will slowly heal itself and get her back to consciousness.

Amy took her Dad’s loss very hard and constantly worries about her Mom. She’s quieter and more inward than she's ever been. She seems disillusioned. She was a regular and active participant in her church, but by the time summer rolled around, Amy had lost her enthusiasm for it and was even questioning her faith. It has to do with her Dad. As a family doctor, her Dad had always placed the needs of his patients first. It didn't matter to him whether they could pay him or not – whatever patients could afford was good enough for him. His idea of a vacation was to go to a Native American reservation and work in a church-sponsored free clinic. So many times she asked me how a just and loving God could have allowed such a person to be killed in the prime of his life.

During these months of grieving, a darker side of Amy’s personality emerged. She started brooding about other conundrums. Why were there so many wars? Why were so many wars about religious differences when those same religions preached peace and the brotherhood of man? How could terrorists be so destructive in the name of God? And why in the world’s richest nation, a nation that champions the equality and worth of each individual, are there so many people homeless and hungry?

It was hard for Amy to decide to go away to college and leave her Mom. She wanted to stay with her Mom, somehow hoping that being there would help her get better, but the doctors assured Amy that her staying made no difference to her Mom’s recovery. Everyone said that her Mom would want Amy to continue with her life. She could be in a coma for years.

I hope this helps you. I've been worried about Amy for months already, and now she does this! Please let me know the minute she’s back.

Yours truly,
Bea

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